bittersweet moments

My children are growing up and with this maturity I am finding myself teary eyed with each bittersweet moment. I am amazingly proud, yet prematurely nostalgic. They are each hitting milestones that I know will one day be memories I look back on fondly, wishing they were yesterday.

Alex is carving out his path for college. Preparing for SAT's, looking into colleges and basically just trying to figure out what it is he wants to do. I look at him, while understanding the circumstances he has faced growing up, and am so incredibly proud of the person he is becoming. I have faith that he will continue to grow into the man he is meant to be.

Electra is exemplifying to me how strong one person can be in the face of adversity. Despite some difficult moments here and there, she is so incredibly resilient. I cannot say enough about how proud I am of her handling things as she has, and often feel that she is stronger than I. There are many days when I am mad, and sorrowful, and just want to change the world for her, but I can't. That's the hardest part of it all. What I can do is be there for her, and after the amazing Mother's Day card she made me I am hopeful that she knows she will never go through this alone.

And Lucy. After days of apprehension she succeeded at learning to ride a two wheel bike. May 15, 2010 to be exact. It was one of the best days of my life watching her just soar after finally getting it down. As I ran beside her, up and down the street, holding her up when she needed it and letting go when she had her balance, I realized that learning to ride a bike is a lot like life. At first, we need to get our balance, and need someone to lean on, but eventually it gets easier. I am absolutely filled with pride watching Lucy ride her bike, and thrilled at seeing the pride she has in herself.

This is where those bittersweet moments commence. Suddenly, the pride I have in watching them succeed shifts toward missing them already. They don't need me quite as much while rolling their eyes at my suggestions and remarks, yet somehow I suspect, we will continue to need each other, but in new ways as the years go by. Ahhh, those bittersweet moments. I wouldn't trade them for the world.